Recap and Gifs
The episode starts off with SpongeBob withdrawing some money from the bank to buy some Mermaid Man and Barncale Boy trading cards. However, SpongeBob’s pretty picky on what the money’s like since he doesn’t want to give Mermaid Man a dirty dollar or a ripped one even though Mermaid Man wouldn’t care due to his senility. SpongeBob, just be grateful that you even have that amount of money at all with your small salary.
Soon everyone gets frustrated with SpongeBob holding up the line with his pettiness and they kick SpongeBob out of the bank. That was a waste of time.
SpongeBob then goes to the comic store to buy his Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards. Patrick’s also there to buy a book on counting (mostly cause he finds numbers amusing somehow).
SpongeBob’s really happy with his trading cards mostly cause he can show off his geek knowledge on the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy TV show.
However since the cashier wants to be superior though, he claims that SpongeBob’s trading cards ain’t worth squat and shows off the Super Rare Platinum Animated Talking Card #54 which is so rare that only five exist.
Wanting to own such a rare card, SpongeBob spends all his money getting the trading cards until he can find the rare card. However, SpongeBob doesn’t have any luck on that and goes through all but one card pack with no luck.
Unsatisfied with his counting book, Patrick decides to buy the last trading cards in stock since he has no other ideas.
Believe it or not, Patrick actually managed to get the rare card! What an odd turn of events.
However, Patrick tries to use the card as some sort of a toothpick since he’s apparently a reckless idiot now. Geez, what happened to the goofball from earlier seasons. Heck, I though Patrick liked MM and BB.
SpongeBob rightfully tries to lecture Patrick on being more careful with the rare card but all Patrick hears is the same ol’ blah blahs. Patrick sure is pushing the envelope for idiocy here.
Since Patrick’s such a reckless guy, SpongeBob decides to strap the rare card on Patrick’s hand so that it can’t fall out of his hand and get messy.
Even then, Patrick still ends up in various situations where the card almost gets dirty from standing near the road where a car could splatter mud on him to randomly walking in Goo Lagoon.
When SpongeBob rightfully questions Patrick on his reckless behavior here, he states that “you can’t expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up; keep you on your toes.” Okay, Patrick now just comes off as intentionally being reckless just to torture SpongeBob (his best friend mind you). Out of context, good line. In context, horrible line.
Literally after he says this, Patrick walks on a steel frame near a huge fire so SpongeBob’s forced to save him and the card with a crane. Patrick’s really going overkill on mixing it up.
After several offscreen mishaps, SpongeBob and Patrick reach the sea star’s rock. Noticing SpongeBob’s attachment to the thing, Patrick offers to give it to him which SpongeBob is more than happy at. However, Patrick still wants to keep the rare card for the rest of the day for some reason. I guess Patrick really wants to prolong SpongeBob’s suffering now.
SpongeBob still obliges by this since he’s such a nice guy.
Patrick then proceeds to do some reckless damage on the card by opening his rock with the card (bending it the process) since he doesn’t believe in locksmiths, uses the card to clean his grill (ripping a part of the top off in the process), using it to start a fire and spitting on the card to put it out, flips patties with it (Patrick ain’t a half bad cook), uses it as a tray for the patties (splattering some grease on it), and finally, uses it as a napkin (further staining it). Geez Patrick, how low are you trying to sink?
When the day finally ends and SpongeBob gets the rare card, the card disintegrates from all that damage much to SpongeBob’s dismay. Poor guy. He just wanted a card but his so called best friend pretty much ruined it (possibly on purpose).
Since he doesn’t want SpongeBob to resent him, Patrick reveals to SpongeBob that he actually bought a whole pack of those rare cards so they ain’t extinct. Heck, he even gives them to SpongeBob! Okay, maybe he ain’t completely bad.
However, Patrick still wants to borrow one from SpongeBob since he’s locked out of his house again. Okay, I take it back. He probably wants to make SpongeBob more miserable by destroying the other cards with his recklessness.
At least SpongeBob owned the card for some time.
Very awful indeed. Patrick’s horrible here and the episode itself is just so dull and boring. Heck, they could’ve salvaged it all with Patrick giving all his cards to SpongeBob as a heartwarming ending but they had to ruin it with Patrick “borrowing” one again! Worst Patrick episode so far.
Score out of Ten: 4/10